A Walk in the Woods

One of Abby and my favorite books is A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson (who grew up in Des Moines). The book is a biographical narrative of Bryson's travels on the Appalachian Trail and is also one of the most colorful, hilarious things you will ever read. In that spirit, Abby and I thought we would give you a veritable walk in our woods. Let's begin.

First we start with our house. Even though its 100 frickin' degrees with 100 percent frickin' humidity here, my wife has somehow been caught up in a wave of Christmas spirit. Here is her new addition to our house:

Notice anything peculiar about the stockings hung over the chimney? That's right, there are three. Given that they were here before us, will be here after us, and are DEFINITELY here with us now, we thought the family we shared our house with deserved a stocking. Never mind the fact that they ate through an entire pineapple (skin and all) while we were sleeping and creeped the hell out of us.

Given that Abby and I have more down time in the heat than any humans should be forced to endure, we have developed quite a rivalry in our card games. We've decided that we will keep track of gin and whomever has more wins at the end of two years will get a fabulous prize upon our return to America. We still haven't decided what the prize should be (or what the loser should have to do), so we are requesting suggestions from you. This was included just so the public knows who has the early lead.

Finally, someone just HAD to pose by all her excellent work, so here is Mrs. Clause herself:

(Editor's Note: Abby does not in fact have a black eye, but does have a novice photographer taking her pictures who apparently committed the worst crime of all, not getting the shadows correct.)

Leaving the inside of the house, we come to our backyard. After a short walk through the bush and down two flights on stone steps that were built for no apparent reason, we reach the wharf which overlooks the Port of Refuge. This inlet is the only way for ships to come in and out of Vava'u and watching the different boats entertains Abby and I during the down time. This is much, much more entertaining when you are watching them while enjoying the crystal light pink lemonade-7up-lime-ice-VODKA cocktail my wife cooked up for us this past weekend.   

While I objected to having my picture included in this blog, my wife invoked the name of Nanners to guilt-trip me into taking one. Here I am contemplating our luck. While we have this beautiful wharf, we can't swim in it because it is infested with sharks, while just across the inlet are perfectly-safe, beautiful beaches. That figures!

Moving to our front yard, we come to the BANE OF OUR EXISTENCE. You see, every Tongan village has bells.These are used to mark Church services at the Free Wesleyan Church and are literally used to wake the village up in the morning. Because every Peace Corps volunteer deals with these and because we heard them everyday during PST, Abby and I weren't too concerned with them. But then site placement came. And upon hearing our placement, every single person, Tongan and palangi, said: "oh no, the village with the bells!" You see, Abby and I couldn't have been placed in a normal bell-ringing Tongan community, its just our luck that we were placed in the community that prides itself on having the loudest and longest bells in the entire kingdom. EVERY morning at 4:15 these bells ring. Not for 15 or 20 or even 40 times like some villages. Nope, ours ring for at least 140 chimes and shake our entire house for 15 minutes. The purpose: wake everyone up so they are not late for church. Of course, the bells ring again at 5:30 to mark the beginning of the morning church service as well. It is literally the world's worst alarm.

Next door we have one of our village's many kava halls. I know Abby has touched on the tradition of kava in Tonga in previous blogs, but its hard to overstate kava's importance here. The majority of men in our village drink this woody water every single day from sun-up to sunrise. And every single day I have to turn down their offer to drink with them, using the same joke "my wife won't let me", which moves the men in this patriarchal society to tears with their laughter. They simply can't imagine a man taking orders from a woman. If they only knew...

 

Many times while walking around our village, Abby and I will see the strangest, funniest things. Here was one laugher during an evening walk by one of our village's massive trees.

Can't see what all the fuss is about? Look closer...

Yup, two of Abby's students...just chilling. They were literally up their for hours hanging out.

Here we show you "what rush hour" looks like in our rural-Tongan village.

And finally, just to prove I'm not completely inept as a photographer, we leave you with a picturesque view of Abby's school at the edge of town.

Thanks for taking this Walk in the Woods with us!