Turning 30 in Tonga on Christmas Eve

Merry Christmas everyone! We hope you all had an AMAZING holiday. I had the great pleasure (NOT) of turning 30 this Christmas Eve. I must say, it was a very memorable milestone. Here is a little of how I spent my first day as a sparkly new 30 year old woman:

I got up at about 5:00 a.m. to bake 3 streusel coffee cakes. This was what my mom always made me on Christmas Eve for breakfast since nobody (except maybe the Klob family) wants to eat birthday cake early on Christmas Eve morning. So, one coffee cake for Ryan and me and the other two for a man in our village named Simi, who just happened to turn 44 on Christmas Eve. The story of Simi could go on, so lets just do the highlights shall we? Simi...44 years old...who works in the bush as a farmer, at the Mormon Church and as head of the PTA for 23 hours a day...with 9 kids...all under the age of 12...with only one girl...who was brought to our house for serious first aid with a massive head wound the other day...whose wife is 8 months pregnant. After seeing what Simi looks like when his children are out of school and ALL home, with a wife on bed-rest, we could not think of a more deserving person for Birthday breakfast.

It was such an amazing treat to have real flavored coffee from America. A cup of pumpkin coffee just bombarded the senses and made me feel as happy as a little kid on Christmas Eve morning. I opened another package from my folks and gave Ryan a Tongan fashion show. I think Ryan deserves a medal for husband of the year. He put up with a lot on this day. I LOVE Christmas and saw no reason to skip it just because we live in a village in the middle of the South Pacific. However, it is not easy trying to recreate Christmas when it is 85 degrees and you can literally feel the air blanket you because it is so humid and still. Needless to say, when Ryan laughed at my sugar cookie Christmas bulbs I may have overreacted a tiny bit. He did not deserve the wrath that came his way, but it was not easy making roll out sugar cookies with a gas burner oven. I am not sure in what world I was living when I thought this would be a good idea to begin with. Let's just say Ryan's half a bottle of wine that night was well deserved....even though he decided to wear some of his half instead of drink it. But, more on that later.

              

Ryan and I then spent the afternoon visiting with neighbors who came over, taking around plates of Christmas cookies and baking in preparation for our Christmas Eve and Christmas Day meals. My husband was fired from cookie deliveries when I found chocolate on his hands when he came back from one delivery. Evidently he was "evening out the edges." Aarrgh... Kloberdanzs!  Families seemed really excited to see us and it was really fun to be able to give them a festive treat. We received 3 large fresh fish, a can of canned beef, and many root crops. It was fun to have people come and go all day and some even wished me a happy birthday!

At about 6:00p.m. Ryan and I started getting ready for the Weslyan Sunday School Christmas program. I honestly felt like I was back in elementary school as I was part of the program.  Yep.... 30 and in a Sunday School program. The Sunday school kids always perform the nativity on Christmas Eve night. I had worked with the kids and taught them 'Away in a Manger' and 'Joy to the World' in English. We sang these songs in English and Tongan. I also had a line in the play. The Sunday school teacher demanded everyone memorize their parts. I was worried about that so I cheated and taped my part in my hymnal. Some of the older kids were showing their friends what I did and one boy said "poto" to me (smart). The only down side was it was pretty hot to begin with, but somehow I ended up standing smack dab in front of the 500 watt yard lamp that was used as a spotlight the whole performance. The kids got to see 'Frosty the White Girl' melt as part of the Christmas festivities. My eye make-up ran so bad I pretty much looked like Freddy Krueger by the end. But, the kids did really great and it was a wonderful program. Ryan and I had so much fun being with our community at this event. The men were so happy that Ryan came and sat with them. It was amazing to look over and see him laughing with the Tongan men. And, he looked pretty amazing as well. I  even told him that this was the first time I have ever seen him better dressed than Matt Urkoski. 

(Hey Barkeim family!  Look.... I made our family Christmas picture for 2012. Sorry my head is so much bigger than all of yours :)

 

                                            

                                                                                                     

  Back at my old church in Minnesota, kids got peanut bags after the program for doing a good job. Well, Tonga has them beat. I got a whole bag full of cookies and snacks. Score!!!

 

Ryan and I came home to enjoy a meal of homemade bread and soup. While I was putting the finishing touches on dinner, I asked Ryan to open the bottle of wine we had splurged on and looked forward to for weeks. After hearing some rather offensive cursing, I went out to see what all the fuss was about. I found my husband, shirtless, covered in wine and trying to pry the cork from the wine bottle with our Rapala filet knife. I lost it. I have never seen anything so hilarious.  The picture does not quite capture the ridiculousness of the actual moment. Seriously... how does this stuff happen in a matter of minutes? When I calmed down, Ryan explained that evidently we had accidentally bought a corked bottle instead of a twist top. Having no wine opener, my husband decided just to push the cork in and make his very own geyser of wine.Thankfully he had the sense to take his only white dress shirt off first. What a resourceful volunteer:) Your tax dollars hard at work ladies and gentlemen.We ate our dinner by candlelight and listened to Christmas music performed by one of the guys in our Tonga group. We ended the night with Christmas movies in bed by our awesome battery powered Christmas lights! It was such a wonderful day. I cannot imagine spending my 30th birthday any other way.

 

                                                                                              

                                                                                                                                 

Service Update #1

What....NO PICTURES?!?

We know, we know. Who wants to actually read a blog when you could be seeing pictures of Ryan in a skirt or Abby swatting at rats with a stick? While we LOVE sharing the quirky side of life in Tonga with you, some of you may be reading our blog and wondering what exactly are these two doing besides killing bugs and taking names? So, to make sure you, the American taxpayer, knows just how your money is being spent we submit for your approval our first Service Update. 

First and foremost, it is important to remember the First Goal of the Peace Corps: "To help the people of developing countries meet their needs for trained manpower, particularly in meeting the basic needs of those living in the poorest areas of such countries."

While Tonga is considered a developing, third-world country, there are many places in the Kingdom that are economically sound and somewhat Westernized. Our mission here is not to serve as international relief workers or deliver international aid as this type of triage is not necessary here. Our focus is to build capacity in the poorest areas of the country so the citizens of those communities can build upward mobility for themselves. In Tonga, this means education. English is compulsory in the Tongan educational system because it is the unofficial language of the South Pacific which binds the islands together for government and trade purposes. While other islands have been able to master bi-lingual education, Tonga lags behind and has suffered because of it.

The Big Picture. The Tongan Ministry of Education wants to move the Kingdom's English instruction from a teacher-centered learning model to a student-centered learning model. The Ministry has found that their students are memorizing, but not learning how to use, comprehend, and manipulate the language.  Because of this, his Majesty King Tupouv VI has invited us as native speakers with teaching experience to change the way English is taught to children in Tonga. Therefore, we will each serve in a rural Tongan school Monday-Thursday working with grades 3-6. Both will be implementing the curriculum Abby has been creating and she is happy to have her husband as her very own guinea pig  :-) 

The Smaller Picture. We have also been asked to undertake projects that help improve the living conditions in the rural communities in which we live. Abby's work will be primarily in the schools (big shocker!)--writing a user-friendly English curriculum and conducting teacher trainings where she will demonstrate American teaching methods to Tongan teachers. Ryan will be working with the Red Cross on Disaster Management trainings throughout the island of Vava'u and writing project grants for our communities. His first goal is to improve the roads leading to and from our village, so people will have more employment opportunities in town and farmers will have an easier time selling their crops in town.  

Until school and our smaller projects begin in January, we have only one task: integrate into our community as fully as possible. Peace Corps has found that volunteers have the most impact in a community when they are considered full members of that community. We are working to make this tiny village, in this tiny country our home. So far, we feel like we have been able to do this with our physical space. The tiny, rat infested house we live in really feels like home! Now we are working to really get to know our community. We spend lots of time with our neighbors so everyone in the village knows our faces and why we are here, as well as inviting them into our home so they feel completely comfortable with us. Because Church is such a big part of this culture, we have taken an active role in the Catholic and Free Wesleyan Church communities as well. In fact, we are both going to be readers as part of the village's New Year's Eve service, so that should be fun.

Okay thats it for now. We hope to provide you intermittent updates specific to our service as we don't want Uncle Sam getting the wrong idea about our time here!

...Alright, we relent. If you've made it with us this far than surely you deserve a reward. So we now return you back to your regularly scheduled Tongan quirk:

We found this guy hanging next to our fire pit. While normally this is the type of thing we would make sure was good and dead, we were both too freaked out to get any closer. So, we have decided to save face and pretend he is just a pet. He is now Bob the Spider who lives by our fire pit.

                                                                                                               

                                                                                                                        

Happy Birthday, Beautiful!

As many of you know, Abby and I will be celebrating twice on Christmas Eve as the 24th doubles as her 30th Birthday! While there are some days, I ask myself why I would EVER agree to move to a sweltering, rural island in the middle of nowhere with this way-too-bossy, crumb-hunting, teaching crazy, control freak :). Most days I have to pinch myself to believe I ever had the good fortune to marry the most beautiful person, both inside and out, I have ever met. Doing this experience with my best friend is simply the most amazing blessing I ever could imagine and I could never, ever survive it without Abby.

She is brilliant, hilarious, beautiful, focused, ambitious and has the best smile I have ever seen. She is also 30...so let the old jokes begin!  

  

  

                                        

Lu Cook-off

So this past weekend Ryan and I went into town to participate in a lu cook-off event put together by our Volunteer Leaders. The idea was that everyone needed to try to make their own lu to see who could make the best tasting one. Upon getting to town, we learned that a container of vegetables off the ship had spoiled. When this happens, everyone on the island goes without until the next carton comes. Unable to get the supplies we needed, we scrapped the lu cook-off and each made our best dish. It led to a full-on American type feast where we all ate WAY to much. Then, we had a kava circle with our group, causing some members of the group to get sick and puke (not calling anyone out, but go Cooprider :)

During this trip to town, we also had the chance to go to trivia night at one of the local cantinas. Our group didn't win overall, but we did win some free cocktails. So, I am going to go ahead and say we were the winners. Of course we did get a respectable 2nd place, largely on the back of Ryan's answers. But afterwards, despite our free cocktails, he still couldn't get over the questions he missed. At first we all tried to console him and Joey even bought him a shot (see below). But then we all moved on with our lives, while my husband sat sulking in the corner muttering "Amer would understand, Amer would understand" over and over! Yep... enough said.

                                                         

Well folks, that's about it for this week. Not a whole lot happening on our tiny island. Luckily cyclone Evan did not come our way, so that was good. It did hit Samoa and the Red Cross deployed some people to go help with relief there.

Many Tongans got word of the shooting in Connecticut from their families in America and came to ask us about it. They too feel the horror of that event, and expressed how sad they were for all Americans this week. What an awful tragedy.

Tongans have also started bringing us bananas. The bananas here are the biggest I have ever seen.  (Okay Iowa boys..keep it clean) This is so kind, but I thought it strange when one woman brought some over said "you make the cake!" meaning these are meant to be banana bread for her! Looks like Ryan has started himself a nice little baking business as I am NOT helping!

                       

Ryan and I are not totally sure what our Christmas plans are of yet, but we just wanted to wish you all a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS. We will be missing and thinking of you all. Ryan had to go to town unexpectedly the other day because we ran out of gas. No gas = no eat. While he was in town, the post office lady ran out excitedly to tell him we had packages. Mom and dad... THANK YOU so much. Silly as it sounds it will be super fun to have something to open Christmas morning. So, we put our boxes under the "tree" and can't wait to open them. 

Ryan was soooo mad at me for not letting him open the boxes. When he went to light the fire, I noticed one box had a tear, so I thought I would explore and see what I could. I got caught big time. Scroogy McScroogerson then used our very valuable supply of duct tape to close it. What a fun sucker!

 

                                                                                           

 As I was finishing this blog, the largest winged bug I have ever seen flew right next to my ear. Instead of screeching like we used to, Ryan screamed "To arms! To arms!" which is our new battle cry when its time to kill (Thanks Willy Shakespeare). By the time we had tracked down the winged-monster, we saw a huge house gecko pouncing to try and get there first while a mouse ran across the ceiling beam to see what all the fuss was about. Needless to say, "To arms!' quickly became "RETREAT!!!!" Just another day in paradise. 

                               

 

                              

 

Because Flood wanted a beach picture...

..but there is no beach in Vava'u, just water. So here is Abby and I swimming in some of the bluest water I have ever seen...

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(secretly he just wanted to see a picture of me in my bathing suit)

Summer Break Baby!

Well, this week marks our first official week of summer break. We had our last day of school with students Friday and school will not resume until February. Ryan and I plan to use our two months preparing for the new school year and working with our new language tutor, Tuki, to strengthen our Tongan before we officially begin a new school year.  

Ryan and I had the opportunity to go to the Western district all school faiva (concert) where our schools performed their Christmas dances. It was incredibly festive and cute as hell :) At these events, men drink kava the whole time and women prepare the children. The two sexes very rarely mix at large events. This means Ryan and I separate as well. Ryan's place is to sit with the town officers, church officers and principals and drink kava, while completely ignoring the show. I sat with the women, helped them get kids ready, and took family pictures for the women who wanted them to mail to families overseas for Christmas. I also ate and drank my bodyweight in Tongan kool-aid and cookies. Well.... the kids were doing it, so when in Rome.....

                                               

 

On Saturday Ryan and I decided to do something about the jungle that was our yard. Tongans take pride in meticulously maintaining their yards, and ours had become the eyesore of the neighborhood. Yardwork here is digging out your burn pit, picking up the ample garbage that blew into your yard, "mowing" the yard with your machete (GO RYAN), pruning trees, and sweeping all the debris in the yard into a pile to burn. This took Ryan and I the better part of a day. It was shocking how exhausted we were at the end.  During our work, I went into the front yard to sweep the lawn with the broom while Ryan said he would prune the trees in the back. When I came back a bit later, I found my husband smiling like an idiot. My mouth dropped open. "Pruning the trees" had turned into Ryan chopping them down COMPLETELY (Look Dad... someone has the same affliction as you.) The beautiful red trees that reminded me of fall back home... gone. "What the hell!?" I stammered out. Ryan replied, "Now we have a much better view." His punishment? He had to make my last batch of banana bread while I cooled off. It was actually the best loaf of the day.  

 

P.S.- Notice my husband's pretty purple gloves and pretty pink baking pan. I put these in here for you Kappy :)

                                                     

                                                                                                     

Finally, my principal invited Ryan and I to his house for Sunday lu.  Upon arrival, Ryan and I learned that Sunday lu was in fact attending a relative's wedding. Yep, nothing here is EVER what we plan. At the wedding, Ryan and I were sat in a place of honor right up front with the bride's family near the head table. My principal's family sat all the way in the back. We were thanked in speeches for being there. We had never met the bride and groom but they had to share the spotlight on their special day with some palangis. It was uncomfortable to say the least, but everyone was very kind.  It was also very interesting to see a Tongan wedding. There is not a special ceremony, but everyone who is being married by the church can only do so on certain Sundays. They come to the service all dressed up, participate in the Bible readings, and are married at the close of the service. Two couples were married at the service we attended. After 2 more hours of church, 1 hour of stuffing our faces, and 3 HOURS of speeches we were sent home with Tongan party favors.  Holy Crap.  This is what a plate of food at a feast looks like. Ahhh feasting :)

 

                                         

  

A Walk in the Woods

One of Abby and my favorite books is A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson (who grew up in Des Moines). The book is a biographical narrative of Bryson's travels on the Appalachian Trail and is also one of the most colorful, hilarious things you will ever read. In that spirit, Abby and I thought we would give you a veritable walk in our woods. Let's begin.

First we start with our house. Even though its 100 frickin' degrees with 100 percent frickin' humidity here, my wife has somehow been caught up in a wave of Christmas spirit. Here is her new addition to our house:

Notice anything peculiar about the stockings hung over the chimney? That's right, there are three. Given that they were here before us, will be here after us, and are DEFINITELY here with us now, we thought the family we shared our house with deserved a stocking. Never mind the fact that they ate through an entire pineapple (skin and all) while we were sleeping and creeped the hell out of us.

Given that Abby and I have more down time in the heat than any humans should be forced to endure, we have developed quite a rivalry in our card games. We've decided that we will keep track of gin and whomever has more wins at the end of two years will get a fabulous prize upon our return to America. We still haven't decided what the prize should be (or what the loser should have to do), so we are requesting suggestions from you. This was included just so the public knows who has the early lead.

Finally, someone just HAD to pose by all her excellent work, so here is Mrs. Clause herself:

(Editor's Note: Abby does not in fact have a black eye, but does have a novice photographer taking her pictures who apparently committed the worst crime of all, not getting the shadows correct.)

Leaving the inside of the house, we come to our backyard. After a short walk through the bush and down two flights on stone steps that were built for no apparent reason, we reach the wharf which overlooks the Port of Refuge. This inlet is the only way for ships to come in and out of Vava'u and watching the different boats entertains Abby and I during the down time. This is much, much more entertaining when you are watching them while enjoying the crystal light pink lemonade-7up-lime-ice-VODKA cocktail my wife cooked up for us this past weekend.   

While I objected to having my picture included in this blog, my wife invoked the name of Nanners to guilt-trip me into taking one. Here I am contemplating our luck. While we have this beautiful wharf, we can't swim in it because it is infested with sharks, while just across the inlet are perfectly-safe, beautiful beaches. That figures!

Moving to our front yard, we come to the BANE OF OUR EXISTENCE. You see, every Tongan village has bells.These are used to mark Church services at the Free Wesleyan Church and are literally used to wake the village up in the morning. Because every Peace Corps volunteer deals with these and because we heard them everyday during PST, Abby and I weren't too concerned with them. But then site placement came. And upon hearing our placement, every single person, Tongan and palangi, said: "oh no, the village with the bells!" You see, Abby and I couldn't have been placed in a normal bell-ringing Tongan community, its just our luck that we were placed in the community that prides itself on having the loudest and longest bells in the entire kingdom. EVERY morning at 4:15 these bells ring. Not for 15 or 20 or even 40 times like some villages. Nope, ours ring for at least 140 chimes and shake our entire house for 15 minutes. The purpose: wake everyone up so they are not late for church. Of course, the bells ring again at 5:30 to mark the beginning of the morning church service as well. It is literally the world's worst alarm.

Next door we have one of our village's many kava halls. I know Abby has touched on the tradition of kava in Tonga in previous blogs, but its hard to overstate kava's importance here. The majority of men in our village drink this woody water every single day from sun-up to sunrise. And every single day I have to turn down their offer to drink with them, using the same joke "my wife won't let me", which moves the men in this patriarchal society to tears with their laughter. They simply can't imagine a man taking orders from a woman. If they only knew...

 

Many times while walking around our village, Abby and I will see the strangest, funniest things. Here was one laugher during an evening walk by one of our village's massive trees.

Can't see what all the fuss is about? Look closer...

Yup, two of Abby's students...just chilling. They were literally up their for hours hanging out.

Here we show you "what rush hour" looks like in our rural-Tongan village.

And finally, just to prove I'm not completely inept as a photographer, we leave you with a picturesque view of Abby's school at the edge of town.

Thanks for taking this Walk in the Woods with us!

 

 

A True Tongan Adventure

On Friday we received a package with a state of the art filet knife sent to us by my Dad (of course there were a bunch of snickers bars in this as well, which Ryan counted... then gave me my portion, then made a plan of when he would eat each of his.) This knife perfectly foreshadowed our adventure to come.

Ryan and I awoke Saturday morning, had a leisurely morning of coffee and chores, and then sat down to make a plan for the day. We decided to go see if we could find the path to the lake that is close to our village. We had enjoyed an amazing swim in this lake a few weeks prior when we came to stay with Nora (another PCV) for our attachment. We thought this would be a fun way to get some exercise and cool off. 

We started down a dirt path that looked well traveled through the uta. The uta is the bush here in Tonga. This is a combination of tropical jungle and wild farmland and is where the men clear paths and farm kava, vanilla beans, and root crops. Here is a picture of the Uta that surrounds our village.

 

                                                                                       

After walking for a long while down the path, we realized it did not in fact lead to the lake. Just as we turned around to head back home, some of the local boys from the village ran from the bush to join us. They told us they heard our voices and came to eva (walk) with us. They then asked if we wanted to go with them to the lake. Ryan and I grinned in pleasure. Success! Just what we wanted.

After a really cool walk through a what we thought was a beautiful dirt road in the uta (it was actually pure, matted down, cow poop), we arrived at the lake. This part of the lake was vastly different than what we had experienced before.  It was VERY dirty and not much for swimming. Disappointed, Ryan and I asked the boys if it was time to return. They looked at us and told us "Ikai... taimi eva i he ano!" (Time to eva on the lake)  Ryan and I looked at each other with worried expressions.... no way was I going in that water. A few seconds later, the boys had pulled out the roughest looking canoes I have ever seen out from under a tree. They looked at us and said..get in!  We looked at each other, shrugged, and thought.. why not? It looks like we were going to stay close to shore. Here is the lake... it is Tonga's largest freshwater lake. Sidenote: this "freshwater" lake is still pretty salty. But, here in Tonga, it is classified as freshwater.

                                                                                 

We got in the boats and the boys pushed off. Only then did we realize there were no oars. We asked the boys how we were going to paddle and they happily told us we would use our hands. Riiiight.  So away we go!  The boys had a little trouble steering the boat with our weight, so two jumped in to pull the boat. The bottom of the lake was like quicksand... I have never seen anything like it. The water was soon pitch black with the debris the boys kicked up from the bottom. Swimming was really wading through waist deep mud. I quickly abandoned my happy hopes of a cooling off dip.

After a period of 30 minutes we arrived at a fishnet that was strung out in the water. Ryan and I gleefully looked at each other... we were fishing! We had totally wanted to learn to do this, so we were happy for the opportunity. Having grown up with a father and uncle who are avid fishermen and hunters, I was confident I would be able to participate with the boys and show them I was up to the task. 20 minutes later, I was sitting in the boat, trying to keep my feet out of the filth that had accrued in the bottom, warily watching my husband bailing water from his boat and wondering what in God's name we were doing in the middle of the lake with some of the most resourceful 11 year olds I had ever seen. Needless to say, fishing in America is a bit different from fishing in Tonga.

Here is what fishing in Tonga looks like:

Jump out of boat to get fish caught in net. Laugh when the palangi screams in horror because the boat almost capsizes. When you find a fish in the net, to detangle you put the WHOLE HEAD OF THE FISH in your mouth. Yep, that's right.... clamp teeth behind gills and hold on tight. This leaves two hands free to manipulate and work the net. Once fish is free, toss it as hard as you can into the boat. Laugh again when the palangis scream because you accidentally hit them when they weren't looking. New lesson... always LOOK at the person throwing the fish. The person in the boat has the task of trying to bail out the incoming water from the boat, cleaning some of the really old looking fish right away, and stringing the other fish. This was Ryan and my job. One boy showed us how to clean the fish. Bite off head with teeth.... rip skin with teeth, take a quick bite if you are really hungry. Here is how Ryan and I managed our task:  duck when fish was thrown our way, let it flop in the bottom of the boat, put feet up on sides, continue to tell boys how amazing at fishing they are in hopes they will take you back to shore. Oh yeah, and keep bailing water.

After about an hour of this one boy pointed at us and told his friend..."Palangi kulokula taimi ni!" (The palangis are red now!) True statement. They quickly finished emptying the lines and told Ryan and I to paddle us back to shore.  We singlehandedly had to paddle our boats while the boys had a heated argument about who would take what fish.It started to rain heavily, and the amount of water our boats were taking on became rather alarming. The boys didn't seem to be bothered by this.  But, we made it safely to shore, and the boys proudly asked if we wanted a picture of them. The great thing is this will provide their families with Sunday lunch after Church. So...who wants to come visit and do some fishing?